It is so easy to fear death when you think you have cancer or some other illness that usually doesn’t have a good outcome. As a nurse, I’ve taken care of people who were dying or diagnosed with a life changing prognosis. It was heartbreaking, but some gave me a happy heart, they inspired me because they didn’t have any fear. They were ready to face whatever God had in store for them, whether death or devine healing. I’ve sat there trying to encourage them with comforting words, but they lift me up instead with their faith.
Now I stand and wait for results that might change my life. Test will soon reveal whether I have thyroid cancer and/or something else. My doctor sent me for an ultrasound and it showed nodules on my thyroid, which could be cancerous.
When I was told I would have to go for a biopsy, I could barely sleep. Its hard to focus on anything else, my mind keeps going back to thoughts of my death. I know it sounds morbid but I’m sure others feel the same way when they find out terrible news about their health.
You start to analyze your life, what you did in your past. Could I have made better choices. Life is a vapor. Cherish it!
I wish I could go back and undo some things I did. I wish I could have lived a better life as a Christian. I miss the times when my kids were little. We would go shopping together, go on vacations, have holidays together. Time is special, I miss those precious moments. My husband, Chris and I were talking about the struggles we’ve faced together. We’ve been married for 30 years. We’ve had good times, bad times, and times to remember. Life wouldn’t be the same without each other. I know I love him more today than I did when we first got together. He has been someone I can rely on, someone that has helped me in my darkest hours of my life.
But, Chris can’t always be with me. There is one that has always been there. Jesus has comforted me when noone else could. See he knows everything about me. He knows my thoughts, my secrets, my fears. He has given me the peace to go on in my life. He’s forgiven me for my sins. Loved me when I was unlovable. He has strengthened me when I was weak. Healed me when I was sick. And listened to me when I needed a friend.
If you dont know Jesus, you dont know true peace or love. He can give you a happiness that you have never known. He is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. He is someone we can always rely on. He has never let me down because he loves me despite my sins, insecurities, failures.
Hallelujah and Maranatha Amen ❤